Bring on the weekend, bitches!

This Friday night Muffin and I are going bar hopping. First of all, it's my friend's b-day week (he just turned 21) so we need to let him experience what a shitshow public intoxication is. Drinking with Muffin is pretty fucking fun every time and I'm excited. Also, drinking is fun. In general.

That being said, I'm not sure how much motivation I'm going to have for the next 2 days.

Shit here we go again...

Muffin and I were just chillin' here at the office and decided we really need to make an effort on this blog. We fucking rocked and were/are hilarious. Amen.

-Punkin

WTF?

What the hell happened? We were funny?

I Love you Punkin!

So, I went out with Punkin' the other day, or last week, or last month...either way, it is irrelevant to my story. Oh how I love drinkin' a beer with Punkin'. And, for some reason that is irrelevant to the story as well. Our conversation went as follows:

Punkin: Oh my God! Did you hear that he had to have his legs amputated because of his diabetes?

Me: Oh My God! Did you hear that he died today?

Calm Down Girl

I was explaining to Punkin this morning that when I woke up this morning I immediately started crying and I couldn't stop and I didn't know why. After I got thinking about it, I do know why...I just chose to erase it out of my memory, but I would be glad to share it with you.

I have decided to take a few days off of the bottle. I have decided that it would probably be very good for my health....emotionally and physically.

I use my cell phone as my alarm clock in the morning, so not only does it take the risk of getting chucked across the room every morning, but I get the opportunity of seeing if anyone called or texted me while I was asleep. I woke up this morning to a text message:

"Where are you drinking tonight?" It was sent at 1 in the morning, when...mind you...I was fast asleep.

What the fuck does that mean? Are you implying that I go out drinking every mother fucking night? I was offended and starting crying and couldn't stop...and didn't make it into work until about 3 hours later.

I think this time off will do me some good. I am not saying how long it is going to last. I just said that I would take some time off. I am going on day three.

Good Eats

I feel like a fat-ass today. I ate a Kashi Pumpkin Spice Flax granola bar for breakfast, a chocolate protein shake for lunch, and a coke zero and stick of orbit gum for dinner, but then watched a television program on the national pie making contest, another one showing Alton Brown creating some kind of stuffing-filled squash, and then a third show investigating the origins of the Milky Way candy bar and the french dip sandwich. That doesn't even touch the cake orgy I viewed last night (see. I feel like purging just from the food on TV. Help.

I'm Working 9 to 5

I travel quite frequently for work. I was talking to my mother on the phone and she tends to worry when I go out of town because sometimes I am by myself . I told her not to worry because I was with Punkin and everything was going to be alright. I proceeded to tell her that rumor had it our hotel was not in a very nice part of town and that she had nothing to worry about.

She told me that I should start checking out the virtual Google maps before I book my hotel rooms so I know what the neighborhood is like before I go. And my response was...

"Mom, it still won't show the hookers standing on the corner."

"Yes it will Muffin, if they work 24 hours a day."